I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
