"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
