She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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