I must be too annoying 4 u.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
