Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
