Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
