I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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