8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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