friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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