Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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