omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
