Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
