oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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