and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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