Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
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