She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
