She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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