I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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