I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
