Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
