I love having hate sex.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
