everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
