is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
