Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
