In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
