i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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