I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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