we're blogging at a bar
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize