we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
