Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
