I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
