i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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