Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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