She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
