she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
