Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
