If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
