Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
