Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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