tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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