At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
