$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
