you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
