The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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