last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
