Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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