how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
