you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
