is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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