I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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