Whod you bang
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
