So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
birth control should be required to get into college
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
