I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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