We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
