I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
