if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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